When I write these articles, I think about who I write these for. I have come to the realization that I write them for myself as much as I write it for the practice members of our community. I remember when my church did a series on forgiveness. I distinctly remember this sermon at church where we were shown a story of a woman who was shot in the head at a Burger King parking lot while heading to make a phone call to a family member. She survived miraculously and has had obvious issues ever since the horrific trauma. They then showed the story of the man who shot her. He was intending on stealing the car from her, and in the process shot this woman in the head. He was caught, convicted and sentenced to 20 years in prison. He was released after 8.5 years of serving his time and during the time he was incarcerated he was saved and gave his life to Christ.

The two eventually met after the years, and the woman who was almost killed, forgave the man who shot her. They communicate and actually have formed a friendship. As I was watching this story unfold, I thought to myself, could I forgive someone who almost killed me? I can’t answer that question. I also thought about this from a health and healing perspective. What happens when you are holding on to feelings of anger, guilt, resentment, bitterness and other emotions associated with these feelings?

I have been taking care of people for over 24 years and have seen how humans respond to negative thoughts. I have also witnessed what happens when you let things go and forgive. Your brain and nervous system are affected by all forms of stress like physical, emotional, chemical, and the environment. When your brain is under stress and tension you get tighter, stiffer, restricted, and inflamed. When your system is under tension and never gets a reset, you are also more susceptible to illness and body shut down.

Think about how long you have been holding on to a grudge, or continue to experience anger and resentment for something someone did to you years ago. The question that comes to my mind when people hold on to grudges is “Why are you still letting that event or person affect you?”

In Matthew 6:15 it says “But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” The discussion our pastor shared with us is that if you don’t forgive, you are sinning and cannot experience God's forgiveness. We also are holding on to stress that will and can block your bodies innate ability to heal, function and adapt.

There are three words that I would recommend you hear if you are still holding on to resent-ment. Let. It. Go. We have all been hurt and slighted by someone in the past. I had a business partner a long time ago that hurt me and it was hard for me to forgive him. After I saw what it did to my health, I decided to forgive him. I didn’t call him or meet up with him. I wrote him a letter. I wrote him forgiving him for what he had done to me and how it cost me money and my health in the process. I forgave him and told him I would pray for him. I wrote down all the feel-ings and emotions I had been harboring about the event. I then put the letter in the drawer.

I felt so much better after writing that letter. I still have memories about what happened to me, however, I have peace over the situation. When we care for you and your nervous system we are actually changing neural patterns and habits you have been storing up for years. This is a difficult task because your nervous system is always functioning and adapting to life stressors. My recommendation is try to not make it harder on your system's ability to get well by holding on to resentment.

Write the letter to that person, make the call, or just say a prayer and forgive him/her. Your sys-tem will move closer to homeostasis by just letting it go.

Peace and love, Dr. Mike